Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Love you Grandma

I miss you Grandma Betty

Wow. Today it really hit me that my Grandma Betty is not doing good. They dont think she will make it. I regret not being closer to you. I just want to say sorry and I love you but I can't get to Utah right know. I am sorry I failed as a granddaughter. I love you for ever. No matter on Earth or in Heaven. I don't want you to be hurting anymore. I want the best for you, I want you to be better. I hate feeling like this. I hate not knowing what i had until, its prity much gone. It hurts.

I cant quit crying. I want you to be okay. I want you to be there to see me grow. I think about you on a daily basis. I really can't believe that this is really happening. All I can do is rembember the good times we had and miss you for the healthy you not the sick you. Love you Grandma Betty.

I swear things start going good, and then shit hits the fan and gets bad again. It sucks. I feel alone because I am the only one in my mom's house feeling these emotions. It sucks. My mom is supporting me though witch is making this a little easyer. The hurtful part is that I am the only one hurting. God works in mystirous ways, he lets a new one come into the world and takes the good people away. Why couldn't he take the criminals and put babies back on the earth to do good for the familys. I don't get the way God works, it kills me bad. I feel like I am fighting the demonds by myself.

I wrote this poem about my grandma and the things that i will always rember about her.

A Grandma's Love-

A grandma's love never dies,
even when she is long gone.
The memories never fade,
even when they do.
The love you shared will always
be there no matter were she is.
I will always love you grandma.

\I just wish i could thank everyone who is supporting me in my time of needs. I want to thank my:
  • My mom- she is an awesome lady
  • My boy friend Adrian- he is a sweet hart
  • My sister Jessica- she is a life saver
  • My grandparents Elvin and Dorothy- they are awesome
  • My father- he is just there
Trying to keep myself busy but its not working I keep thinking about shit thats going on. It hurts and I just need to keep myself busy. I can't believe things like this are really going on... just when I get happy with Adrian. It really fucking sucks. O how i wish things would be back to normal .In less than an 45 Mins I will be seeing my daddy. For the first Time since this stuff with my grandma witch is going to be really hard,.I don't want to see my dad like this its going to kill me. Just kidding I am not going to see him probably. I GOT TO SEE MY DAD


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